Tomorrow is a big day for Riley…She goes in for surgery at 10:30 to remove her broviac line. After over 6 months we will finally have a cordless baby. Typing that made me tear up. Huh, interesting. I wasn’t expecting that. I have been so excited all week, looks like that excitement clouded how emotional this may be for me. I remember how it felt the first time I called her cordless…back then I was referring to her no longer being plugged into the IV pole that anchored her for months. And I thought that was freedom, I’m not even sure I can remember what holding her before lines felt like…in all reality I get really uncomfortable trying to think of life before the hospital so I tend to avoid it. Those cords in her body kept us confined 24 hours a day to a 3×3 section of her room for weeks…gosh maybe it was even months, I’ve forgotten the timelines already. So many labs were drawn from that port…the amount of blood I have witnessed be pulled from that sweet baby just doesn’t seem real. I’m flashing back to the countless medications making their way into her little body through that port…so many, more than I could have ever imagined. All the times being awoken in the middle of the night as the nurses started yet another blood transfusion because her counts had dropped. To the chemo…oh the chemo, I will never shake the feeling that radiated through my body watching them start that process, the gowns, the masks, the gloves, the terror. All of that happened…through that port. Chemotherapy, morphine, blood, platelets, fluids…and how can I forget…my stem cells, her chance at life…all went through that port.
I never thought I could be so grateful for a little plastic tube…it’s served it’s purpose and I am even more grateful that it’s time to come out. Tomorrow at this time there will be nothing foreign sticking into her body, no objects coming out of her, no bulging cable in her neck. No more dressing changes. No more line flushing. No more hep locking. No more cap changes. No more aqua guards. She will take regular baths. She will be able to play naked. She will look like a normal baby.
The procedure is routine and quick…hers will be even quicker since she has already partially removed it herself (quite the little helper that girl). But still it’s surgery, it’s anesthesia, it’s one more step in the process so positive thoughts, prayers and healing energy requested and welcomed. Thank you all for continuing to keep up with our little trooper and supporting us for all of these months. It continues to lift us up.