You know I am one of those people that has always had “my people”…just a couple of close friends most of which are family that I share my life with. I’m not anti-social by any stretch (pretty sure you can all tell I’m not exactly shy) I’ve just always had a quality over quantity thought process when it comes to friends. But this life changes everything. It changes the way that your current friends talk to you, everything they say is so thought out. They withhold bitching about their days because in comparison to mine it was peachy keen, when they ask “how are you?” it’s with true concern as opposed to just a carefree way to address someone. It’s not a bad thing…I get it…I appreciate it, I understand why…but it is different. A mother of a SCID baby who was treated here at UCSF this past year reached out to me and wanted to have lunch. I’m going to be honest here, I was excited and terrified at the same time. Her son was diagnosed with SCID through newborn screen in March and though he fought such a hard fight he passed in May. I all of a sudden felt a magnified glimpse of how my friends feel towards me, I had no idea how I would talk to her, what I would say…I felt so guilty that my baby was still here, that she is doing so well. My problems and what I am going through seems so miniscule, so trivial in comparison. But I wanted so bad to meet her and so we set a date.
Walking out the doors of the hospital yesterday I was so nervous but there she was, the warmest smile and outstretched arms greated me with such genuine happiness. Ok. This is going to be good. Never would I have thought that I would develop such strong bonds with a stranger in a matter of minutes. She has said before in email that she feel like she knows me from following the blog and it really did feel that way, we instantly clicked. Sandwiches. Wine. Cupcakes. Common Ground. We talked about everything from fear, sadness, coping, therapy and the lingering desire to punch infants out in public in the face…ya know all kinds of healthy conversation 😉 We laughed…a lot. It felt so good to talk to someone, someone who REALLY gets it. Someone who went through the worst and is willing and able to listen. Her heart is huge…no joke…it gets any larger and it simply will not fit into her body. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have met her and have no doubts that yesterday was the first of many meals we will share. I’ve always needed an excuse to visit wine country more and seeing as she lives in Napa I just snatched up one big reason! Thank you Liz for following Riley’s journey, for reaching out, for coming down annnnnnd for drinking wine with me before noon. 😉 You’re the best. xoxo